


Walls Fall Down

by OnlyInAutumn



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Lots of sexual tension, Overall Craziness, Seth POV, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5897278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyInAutumn/pseuds/OnlyInAutumn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wouldn't be one to admit it, but he feared a lot of things. But losing her had become the greatest and strongest fear of all. The preacher’s daughter turned into a criminal’s sidekick. A joke, right? Nope, just what their lives had turned into. The thing was, she had evolved into more than that to him, way more that he could ever put into words.</p>
<p>(aka the one where Seth slowly falls in love with Kate as they travel through Mexico together)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Souls Intertwined

**Author's Note:**

> I have recently watched the From Dusk Till Dawn series and absolutely fell in love with Seth and Kate. I was inspired to write this story because I wasn’t really a fan of how two episodes into season 2 the pairing were split up. I thought there was way more explore.
> 
> This is part one of two chapters.
> 
> Enjoy!

They fought.

No shocker there.

But that night had been different from the rest of the other battles they had. It was his fault, of course. Usually always was. He had said something stupid, an offhanded remark in the form of a mutter that cut into her deep, so much so that it halted her in her tracks, look of clear disappointment and shock on her face. And pain, which was the worst part to see as it flashed across her face. Seth hadn’t meant to say it but he made the bed and he had to lie in it even if an apology was about to fall off his tongue because he knew shit just got real and it was his own mistake.

But before he could have processed the situation and thought of a reasonable enough way to say he was sorry, Kate had left in a hurry. Eyes beginning to fill with water as she turned her face away from him, either because she couldn’t stand to look at him or because she didn’t want him to see the tears spill over. Maybe both. Yeah, probably both. And he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t come back. If he were in her position, stuck with Seth Gecko who made everything in her life go to shit, he sure as hell would get out at the first sign of freedom.

But that was the thing, all they had was each other.

It was all a cycle, the past three months. He said stupid shit here and there, she yelled at him for it and told him to grow the hell up, and at some points he thought she was about to grab the nearest lamp and toss it at him. But then they made apologies a few hours later and moved on because the deafening silence and elevated tension between them was too much to bear any longer.

It was a thing, _their_ thing.

Even when he was the one yelling back at her, Seth doubted he was ever really angry at her. Even when she told him that she hated him with everything inside of her, he still didn’t feel an ounce of pure anger towards her. Because in the end, he knew he deserved to be hated (even if her words of _I could never really hate you, Seth_ replayed in his mind).

But despite everything, he had done his best to protect her all of the three months they had been travelling together. He used the word travelling often because the alternative was too depressing (you know, the part where they run from monsters wanting to take a chunk out of their neck and constantly rob places in the middle Mexico). But he did put his heart and soul into it until halfway through the memories and loss became too much and he got selfish and his values strayed, body becoming a prisoner to the drug he never wanted to become a slave to. But there he fucking was, shooting up whenever he felt like it.

Idiot.

It was only then he thought maybe she needed protection from _him_ and not the rest of the world. And that realization burned through him like nothing else since it was his own mistake of turning to the drugs in the first place. Stupid him, he should have known better.

Seth didn’t want to give up the drugs and he most certainty would not give up Kate. The two were forced to mold together in this messed up way that only further heightened the misery Kate had felt but never told Seth about, even though he caught glimpses of it on her face. The drugs were shit, but Kate, she was different.

Kate.

She was his girl.

The preacher’s daughter turned into a criminal’s sidekick/travelling companion/partner.

Sick. Twisted. Seriously fucked up.

He could go on for days about how the events that had unfolded months prior up to the present were a series of intertwined unhealthy habits. Kate wasn’t filling the role that Richie had, no, it hadn’t been like that. The wide open hole in his chest that Richie had delivered to him was still there. Kate wasn’t filling the role but she was filling the void, keeping him away from the overall big, bad darkness that wanted to consume him. She kept the loneliness at bay until it was time for the drugs to kick in.

One time a few weeks prior, some older drunk lady called them Bonnie and Clyde at a bar as Seth demolished four beers and Kate was taking control to get them the hell out of the place, not taking no for an answer. _Bonnie and Clyde._ Seth guessed it wasn’t too far from the truth, all things considered.

Most of the time it was drunk fights that they had, alcohol only fueling his side of the argument since Kate refused to drink a drop. She probably resented him for drinking so much, and Seth never thought twice about it until the following day when the hangover seemed like it might split his brain and Kate was shoving a glass of water and an Aspirin his way.

A small part of him liked the bickering they had once his system was flooded with liquor and a fuzzy haze. The bickering was fine but what followed was nothing less of a nightmare. Fights that started as a small flame that then exploded once he started throwing low blows. Then she left to get him out of her sight and to cool off somewhere else, probably trying to convince herself to stick around and put up with his shit.

Coping with being alone once she left though was a whole other animal. Seth didn’t deal to well with the feeling of being empty and lost and more often than not turned to the bottle once again until he passed out or took the needle to get him through the night.

But that night he didn’t have time to get to the drugs yet even though the itching feeling had returned and he needed a fix. She came back earlier than usual, shutting the door behind her quickly as Seth looked up from the large chair he had sunk into over in the opposite corner of the room. Kate walked through the door without looking at him once, not even in his direction, arms wrapped around her waist like she was trying to hold herself together and not fall apart.

Out of instinct, he scanned her for any damage—no cuts or bruises though, and there was no sign of even a speck of blood, hers or another’s. With a silent sigh of relief, Seth took another swig of the alcohol and continued his self-loathing process knowing that at least Kate wasn’t in any immediate danger.

Her bag loudly hitting the floor made him refocus and watch her even more closely. Even through blood shot eyes he noticed the red in her own, except hers hadn’t formed from self-destruction, it was crying, a lot of it.

Seth rubbed his eyes with both hands, leaning back into the cushioned chair. “I fucked up,” he told her, hoping to get her to acknowledge him and not pretend he was invisible. “I know that.”

The cycle—fight, separate, come back together.

The first two had happened and Seth was waiting for the third to complete the sequence.

And wherever he had wanted it to go with his half-assed apology, it definitely wasn’t about to take that turn. Kate ripped off her jacket like it had been a second skin she wanted to shred and threw it over onto the scratched table, zipper clanging against the cheap wood. And although the bed was separating them, he felt a twinge of anxiety when her stance dramatically changed from _I’m annoyed at you_ to _I’m going to rip out your fucking guts and feed them to the stray cats_ in the matter of second.

Seth knew he was in for it and opted to stay silent as he continued to drink from the bottle, eyes averted, hand tapping the arm of the chair in anticipation of the explosion that was about to go off in their motel room.

“Can you not do that?” she asked suddenly, tone sharp and on edge.

“What?”

Wrong answer.

She angrily threw back the covers on the bed and fluffed up her pillow. “That!” she yelled, then pointed to the almost empty bottle in his left hand.

He almost said something stupid (again) but bit his tongue, staring into the bottle absently with his head hung like a guilty dog being reprimanded by the owner.

“I’m so tired of it,” Kate bitterly remarked.

“Well, the door is right there, Katie, might as well use it.”

Wrong answer. Again.

So much for keeping his mouth shut.

“Stop it!” she screamed, so loud and so wildly that it even startled Seth, who was usually not spooked by much. When he finally glanced back up at her he noticed how Kate’s eyes were wide, jaw set, breathing erratic, and he knew she had just about enough. “I don’t want to deal with it,” Kate then said through her teeth. I don’t want to be scared anymore, Seth. Every night it’s the same with you and the drugs and all I want to do is walk out that door but I can’t because I can’t make it on my own. You know that! And you take advantage of it. Oh, here’s Kate, she’ll take care of me, make sure I don’t choke on my own vomit during the night or some shit like that.”

The emotion in her voice got him off guard, almost knocked him off the chair too. He never understood why she cared about him at all, with all he had done to pretty much ruin her life. And he kept doing it to her too. Every night, every day. The cycle repeated and all it did was make it harder on her.

“Fucking _heroine_?! Seriously? The drinking I could deal with but _this_ ,” Kate hollered, putting up her hands, “this is something way worse.”

She rarely ever cursed, so her sudden swearing got his full attention.

“What is wrong with you? We have enough problems as it is and you just had to add being an addict on top of all of it. Why can’t you just be present here with me, in _this_ world, not your drugged up fantasy one? I can’t imagine life is any better as a _junkie_.”

Junkie.

That sure as hell was cringe-worthy.

It was the first time she had ever said that and it was the equivalent of her picking up his own gun and putting an end to his days. Junkie. _Junkie_. The word rang through him like it had no escape, digging into the corner of his mind and mocking him from the new perch.

Kate rounded the side of the bed and past by him before she slammed the door to the bathroom shut, the force shaking the surrounding walls and ground. He looked over his shoulder at the closed door, hearing a bottle of what he assumed was aspirin being poured out. Something came over him and he panicked, fearing that she was going to take the whole bottle of pills like her mother had, prompting Seth to push himself up and stumble out of the chair and fling open the bathroom door.

“Do you mind?” Kate hissed, only putting one tablet into her mouth before swallowing some water in front of the sink.

“I just—I thought maybe…” he trailed off, eyes focusing on the bottle rested the countertop.

Kate’s eyes had followed his gaze and she connected the dots. “Oh, please. You really think I’d commit suicide or is that the booze making you think that?”

Seth grabbed ahold of the doorframe to keep him steady, head leaned up against it. Shamefully, he replied, “The booze.”

“What a surprise.”

She pushed past him again, this time brushing his arm with her own, and being as fucked up as he was, that nearly was enough to the knock him to the ground if he hadn’t been holding onto the frame. She crossed the room to her side of the bed and switched a lamp off by her. She took the right and he took the left, always. Kate fluffed the pillows again with her hands, pulling on some purple socks before sitting on the bed and pulling her legs up and over, letting them disappear under the covers before she rested her back against the headboard.

A few moments went by and he was still watching her. “Stop looking at me like that,” she mumbled, more calm this time.

He didn’t need to ask about what she meant by that. They both knew how he was looking at her.

Seth remained silent, moving over to sit back down in the chair with a grunt, remaining there completely motionless until the genuine words finally boiled up to the surface because they were long overdue. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Kate blinked a few times, tucking some hair behind her ear before laying down onto her side. She yanked the sheets up so far that they covered her ear and he couldn’t see her anymore, just the dark hair that was fanned out against the white sheets. “I’m going to sleep.”

That was a well deserved slap to the face but Seth understood. She wanted him, needed him to fight the urge to give into the bottle and the needle. To give up being the person he was at that point. And he hated letting her down, he really did. It felt like the worst thing in the world. But in all honesty, the craving for the drugs wasn’t as strong that night for whatever reason. Seth believed it was because he had enough of it too. Not like he felt any better with the drugs than without them.

He didn’t want to stop before because he was a coward. He was weak and pathetic and he was too damn angry to quit the drugs even if it was the best thing for him. And for Kate, mostly for Kate. Truth was he had been falling apart, piece by piece, ever since he parted from Richie and he just couldn’t admit that to himself. All he had done for three months was let it happen despite Kate being ready to help him put himself back together.

And then that was it—the goddamn breaking point.

The self-loathing process and endless cycle he had thrown himself into needed to come to an immediate stop.

Seth left Kate to sleep and sat on the bathroom floor all night, riding out the beginnings of withdrawal. He hated every second of it but he got through it and Kate found him in the morning all sweaty and shaking like he had been in freezing weather with no clothes but really his body felt hot and burning off layer by layer. She spent every night with him in that bathroom as he continued to sweat and go crazy. But Seth made it to the next day and next week and he came out on the other side and then a month of being clean meant that Kate didn’t have to keep her eyes on him as much, fearing he might revert back. But that wouldn’t happen.

He did it for _her._

For _them_.

—

Two weeks later, a total of almost five months following the aftermath of the Twister, and they were on the road again. The road to nowhere but they had to keep moving around, stealing different cars as they jumped from one shithole to the next. Couldn’t stay in one place too long, even though that was wearing on them both. All the travel time and never settling down somewhere was a pain in the ass.

Funny thing was, he happened to realize, was that all roads in Mexico seemed the same. For all he knew, they could be going in circles and not even notice it.

Seth had one hand on the wheel as he stared at the open and dusty road ahead as the desert winds kicked up when Kate placed her arms over her stomach and leaned over in the passenger side seat and gave a slight groan.

Alarmed, he asked, “What?”

He hoped it wasn’t the stomach flu or some shit like that. Seth had heard the warnings about the water in Mexico and distinctly recalled Kate grabbing a mouthful from the bathroom sink after the sour candy she ate overwhelmed her taste buds the previous night. The last thing he needed was her to be ill for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.

“It’s nothing,” she whispered in what sounded like agony.

“Didn’t sound like nothing.” Seth rolled his eyes. “Come on, tell me.”

He bet that she knew he wasn’t going to give up until she told him what was wrong since he was overprotective. _Too_ overprotective, as Kate would dramatically say, but he felt it was necessary.

Kate straightened up and sighed, glancing over at him as he continued to drive to their unknown destination. She probably had a small smile on her face when she explained, “It’s just cramps, Seth. You know, the menstrual cramps kind.”

He readjusted his position. “ _Oh_.”

She laughed at him, then pulled her legs up onto the seat and hugged around them, resting her head onto her knees as they acted as a pillow. “Stop at the next gas station.”

Then it was his turn to groan. Seth was fonder of driving until they were out of gas or he felt like he was going to pass out if he stayed on the road any longer.

She was quick with a response. “You want blood all over the seat?”

Kate was joking, trying to get under his skin, but he still made a face at the thought.

“You’re such a guy.” She pointed to a dull sign on the road. “Look. Five miles. We can stop there and refill the tank, grab some food for the ride, and I can get my _feminine hygiene_ products before it’s too late.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seth agreed, already pulling out a wad of cash to hand over to her. “Get whatever you need.”

—

Things got easier as the days went on. They got into the motions and fell into a smooth rhythm, gliding through life like it was all normal and dandy to be on the run from the law and vampires, robbing stores for cash to get a motel and some food for the next week or so. Of course Seth did most all the work and Kate stayed in the car, the way he liked it, the way he needed it to be. He had tainted her enough with his darkness and also turning her into a real life criminal was not part of the plan. That was where he drew a line in the sand and told her not to cross it.

But speaking of lines, there had been a clear one between Seth and Kate from the beginning. However, the line was occasionally getting blurred. It happened in their personal relationship several times over. Seth was never quite sure how he thought of Kate, considering their roles were always fluctuating to adapt to the situation. Sometimes she felt like a sister, sometimes a mother, sometimes a friend, and sometimes when she smiled brightly at him, well, that was something entirely different. But no matter what category she fell into, she was always his keeper of secrets, the one he could tell things to and she would listen, and him knowing what he revealed was safe between the two of them. A few times he even told her things he had never even mentioned to his own brother.

_“Were you scared in prison?”_

_He had been reluctant to mention his time there, and he probably wouldn’t have admitted to the truth had it been anyone but Kate. “My first day,” he remembered vividly, huffing out a chuckle while keeping his eyes on the road ahead. “I was one nervous fuck. It was like walking into lion territory , all the lions looking at you like you’re either going to be tonight’s dinner or you’re gonna help them hunt dinner down. And it could go either way.”_

_“Sounds scary. Did you ever get in fights?”_

_There were times he thought he could still feel the punches delivered to his face. “Yeah, a few. Got the shit beat out of me. Piss off the wrong people and that’s what happens.”_

_Kate shook her head, processing the new information. “How did you get through it, I mean, being there for so long?”_

_What he had done his whole life. “Learn to adapt.”_

There had been many small talks like that one during their car rides through the desert landscape. Kate was curious by nature and Seth happened to be more and more willing to answer her inquiries about himself the longer they were together and as he grew increasingly more comfortable with her.

One night during their travels the boundaries got crossed in a way they hadn’t before though. The motel they had picked was a nicer one than usual, in the sense that it didn’t look like a murder set. The sheets extra soft with some extra pillows for Kate to curl up with, and Seth considered that a five star rating compared to what they had seen before. 

Although they were both exhausted from a twelve hour drive on one of the hottest days they’ve braved through in Mexico, both seemed to be acutely aware of how the other was not falling asleep without difficulty. Seth hated those nights because the pair seemed to fall into step with each other when the time came to think about what they had lost, who they had lost, mind warped with the memories so much that it prevented sleep from taking them, even in a state of  pure exhaustion.

Kate shifted around in the bed, making it creak a bit, then sighed loudly as she came to stillness again. “Hold me,” she whispered, her small request. “Please. Just for tonight, I promise.”

Seth brought his hand up to bite at the nail a bit before he decided, fuck it, and followed through. Because even Seth Gecko wanted to feel a warm body next to him at that stage in the game.

The bed creaked slightly as he turned over to his other side and shifted his weight closer, Kate flipping over also so that his front faced her back, her dark hair flipping into his face before he moved it out of the way. She took it upon herself to push their bodies together because in no way, shape, or form was he going to claim responsibility for having her ass pressed lightly against his crotch region.

No way, that was all on her.

Kate hand reached in behind her and grabbed his wrist, guiding his arm over her so that it draped over her waist and his hand laid flat on the bed right in front of her chest. He’d be a damn liar if he said he was entirely comfortable those first few minutes as he listened carefully for a sign that she changed her mind and wanted him away from her, but the sign never came.

It had been a while since Seth had been in such an intimate position before and Seth wasn’t quite sure if he remembered how to be proper, if that was even possible. It was Kate after all, and he needed to not fuck up the balance they had going for them.

Kate, however, was relaxed with no tension in her body, all snuggled up with the cover brought up to her waist. Although from his spot Seth couldn’t see her face, he got the feeling like her eyes were closed and she was attempting to get some sleep. He wondered if she even let the thought of what was occurring with the two of them enter her mind, or perhaps it did and she just didn’t care.

_Why tonight?_ he wondered. Why was it that Kate asked for this?

A few more minutes and he told himself to be cool, just let it feel natural. He repositioned his head a little bit so it was further on the pillow when the scent of Kate’s hair invaded his nostrils. It was at some point during the silence that his fingers started to move. He watched his nudging hers until she intertwined them all together even though the whole picture of them like that was probably a sin of its own.

It was wrong of him—shouldn’t be that close, her body against his like it was. But the thought that got to him the most was how did something he perceived to be so wrong actually feel so _right_? Like she had been made to fit there right next him all along, like they were made to take comfort in each other.

His thoughts were getting too deep and Seth decided to claim insanity because of tiredness.

“Can I ask you something?” Kate suddenly asked into the darkness, sounding sleepy.

He was half-terrified of what she might say but he urged her to continue anyways. “Sure.”

“Back in the states, before coming over here, before the bar, did you really think you’d be happy here once you got over the border?” she simply put it.

He reminisced about the ideal life he had planned out for him and Richie, a nice place by the beach with no interference from their past misdoings, living off of the stolen money. “Yeah, foolish of me, huh?”

She shrugged nonchalantly, holding onto his hand tighter. “Do you think you can be happy without him?”

He never responded verbally, only because he heard the question she was really asking, the one carefully hidden, the ‘ _do you think you can be happy with me instead?’_. Seth was beginning to think that the answer may easily turn into a yes, and that would only make him feel guilty—guilty because Kate was never meant to be there with Seth. She was supposed to be living her life back home in Bethel with her family and friends and enjoying going off to college and getting some life experience, a career, having kids, a husband, a house of her own.

One dumb decision and all that had been taken from her. That was his burden to bear, one he’d take to the grave with him.

If only he could go back….

But Seth didn’t want to feel guilty about her missing out on all that, another night, maybe, just not that night. Not when Kate was snuggled up against him and his world was going to be peaceful for a little while.

The part of it was that Seth had never really done this with women. Sure, he had girlfriends in the past and even a wife, but Seth had always been one to intentionally cut off part of the emotional ties, not getting _too_ close. And new flash, spooning with Kate, of all people, was the very definition of getting too fucking close. But there it was. For the first time in his life Seth felt like both his and Kate’s identities were joined together, two souls fused at the edges to make one interlaced partnership. It was like he had melted into her that night and let himself be vulnerable to her.

Scary shit.

Bad shit.

Shit he shouldn’t let happen but didn’t have the power to stop it.

Vulnerability and Seth never mixed well, but Kate made it appear so effortless for him to let some walls down and let her see what had been behind them the whole time.

“Goodnight,” Kate mumbled, barely audible as she slipped away into a dream.

Eventually Seth drifted off as well, the words of Richie replaying as they had approached the bank in Texas many months ago.

_…Dying in the arms of a beautiful woman…_

It wouldn’t be so bad, was Seth’s last thought, dying in the arms of Kate. In fact, he couldn’t think of a better way to leave the world.

—

The following week the moved again into a different motel about a hundred miles from the last after Seth did another grab and go robbery. He had the option of getting two double beds and not just one. When the manager asked again what Seth wanted after he had hesitated for too long, he picked the one bed room and pretended that it wasn’t because he wanted her to be close. But he sure as hell had never slept better when she was right there with him.

Something between them had shifted, except Seth was sure it was only being perceived from a one-sided perspective (that being from his side of the equation). Just his fucking luck.

His thoughts started to become somewhat impure at some point after the night he held her and then woke up to her comfortably still there in his arms sound asleep. Seth had felt so at peace in the moment upon awaking that he couldn’t remember if there had ever been a time that he had felt that way, like the world around him was perfect and nothing could possible go wrong. But after that the impurity filtered through especially at night when he had time to think and the subject of those thoughts was asleep right next to him. She normally would always sleep on her right side and always took the right side of the bed. Seth would be able to see the gleam of her pale skin as the moonlight found a way through the thin curtains. Her hand would be untucked from the sheets, and he wondered what it would feel like to have those dainty hands wrapped around his dick.

Like he said, impure thoughts.

Part of him thought that maybe it wasn’t so wrong and to think that way, that perhaps it was just the natural course of things. The other part knew he shouldn’t let his mind venture that far and he couldn’t afford to think like that.

But he couldn’t help that the thoughts were persistent. Kate was undeniably beautiful and smart and tested him like no other person on the planet. And guess the fuck what, he liked that. A lot. Drove him up the goddamn wall but he had begun to realize that she made him feel things he hadn’t before. She was a challenge and that in itself was enough to get him hard.

The problem was that he had been emotionally shut off for so many years (arguably for his entire life) that he could not remember what it felt like to be anything but numb.

—

The next time the boundaries are challenged was right after Seth came out of the shower, overheated, and with a towel wrapped around his waist as he exited into the bathroom to grab a change of clothes.

It had been late and Kate was brushing through her hair in the corner by the collection of things she had acquired over the past months that were all stuffed into a dark blue bag that went over her shoulder. As he walked over, Kate stared up at him with a makeup-less face just as pretty as the one with eyeshadow and liner on it, her tousled hair seeming so much darker in the dim light. When he felt her eyes linger as he crossed the room, his witty and slightly inappropriate response along with a raised an eyebrow was, “See something you like?”

“Ha _ha_.” She turned and found her way to the nearby table where she sat down in the seat and took out a journal she had been keeping lately. Her eyes flickered back up as she delicately declared, “Maybe.”

She took out a pen and started writing and nothing more got said but the ambiguity of her reply stayed in his mind the whole night.

—

They ended up having a lot of free time on their hands. They had some extra cash from the recent robbery which made them accumulate more than they had before. Main point, they were laying low. But what they learned was that there wasn’t much to pass the time when they were holed up in a motel room and all the shows on TV were in Spanish and neither of them were even close to fluent.

Seth had been so desperate not to go crazy from being stuck within the walls of the motel that he almost gave into Kate’s relentless request to get Monopoly, her favorite game. Instead he grabbed a few packs of cards and started to teach Kate how to play poker on the bed one night, kind impressed how quickly she had begun to pick up on the game. As in he was lucky he didn’t get too cocky about being mediocre at it and made a bet because Kate would have handed his ass to him.

Seth side eyed her a few times to see if she was just playing dumb about not knowing how to play cards just to put him to shame during the match. Only leave it up to Kate to play the innocent, inexperienced, doe-eyed teenager role until the end where you realize she cleared out whole your bank account, but he was sure she had never ventured past anything other than Go Fish or Uno (which to him was damn sad).

The next morning he woke up with cards on his stomach and all over the ground. He got up and showered right away, leaving Kate to sleep a little while longer. After that he threw a new light blue dress shirt on the bed with a black tie and decided against the coat because it was too fucking hot outside for that shit. Kate stirred under the sheets and her eyes flickered open, settling on Seth, who was still standing there with a bare chest.

“Morning,” she murmured into the sheets. “We leaving?”

It was funny, he thought, how in the morning Kate always opted to not form full sentences in her sleepy state.

“Yeah,” he replied, throwing on the shirt and buttoning it up, too aware of her eyes on his skin.

Kate huffed and threw a pillow over her head, wanting more sleep. And he did want to let her fall back into whatever dream she was having but instead pulled the pillow off her head and threw back the sheets. “Come on. Time to get up. Big day today.”

Kate sat up and stared at him blankly, ruffling a hand through her hair and yawning. “Big day of more driving.” She threw her hands in the air and faked an enthusiastic expression. “Hurray!”

“Smartass,” he remarked, then threw her some clothes to put on so they could get out of there as soon as possible. “Okay, what do you want for breakfast?”

“Watermelon juice would be nice.”

She said it without any hesitation that Seth didn’t have time to process the odd request. “What?”

She blinked, then repeated. “Watermelon juice. You see, Seth, what they do is, they cut up some watermelon and then they—”

He put his hand up to stop her. “Yeah, I know how they make juice, Kate.”

Kate rolled out of bed and grabbed the clothes. Before she headed for the small bathroom she took the bag of makeup she had stashed in the corner on a table. “Well?”

“ _Well_ , what?”

“Can you get me some?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

Seth threw his hands in the air. “Yes, I’ll buy you the fucking watermelon juice,” he said quickly, a little agitated but also a little bit amused. “Happy?”

“You’re spoiling me,” she smiled brightly as she disappeared behind the door.

“I’ll be back in an hour. Be ready!” he shouted as he closed the front door behind him, double checking to make sure it locked.

He ran into the English-speaking maid on the way out the door, stopping her to ask, “Hey, do you know if I can get watermelon juice anywhere around here?”

It sounded silly coming out of his mouth but the maid looked like she had heard of some stranger requests. “Down the road,” she said in a heavy accent. “Store to your left at the corner. It’s pink building, can’t miss it.”

He had to pay the equivalent of twelve US dollars for the ten ounce bottle but the look on Kate’s face when he dropped it onto her lap in the car meant it had been worth it, even if they were running low on their stash of cash. She made a comment about how he was the best and the satisfaction from that alone was enough to give him the energy to drive for the next five or six hours.

And, yeah, when she gave him a sip of the chilled drink, he admitted to himself it was some damn good stuff.

—

“Do you still pray?”

It was the first he had seen her cry like that. It was painful to watch her go through it and Seth felt the sadness as well, like it was some kind of infection that spread through the air. Lots of tears poured down her cheeks as she sniffled, using the back of her hand to wipe the water away as she sat up against the wall.

He only asked because of genuine curiosity. He wasn’t mocking her or anything like that, he wasn’t a complete bastard.

“Not much,” she replied, voice shaky. “Not anymore.”

Seth stood in his spot a few yards away, unknowing of what to do that could make it better. Despite everything else, it was the first time he saw Kate for who she really was—a girl who had her innocence stolen from her, plagued by images of monsters tearing people apart and losing her family. He didn’t know what really happened back at the bar and he guessed he didn’t want to know the gruesome details.

Seth rubbed the back of his head. “We could go to church,” he offered, not totally onboard with it but if it meant something to Kate he’d do it for her. Maybe it would offer some closure that neither of them had received.  “There’s got to be something around here.”

Her eyes that were blood shot narrowed. “You would do that for me?”

Seth nodded.

Kate took a minute to compose herself before she planted one hand on the dark green carpet to help herself up. She walked over to him until she was directly in front, having to tilt her head upwards because she was shorter.

“Forgive yourself,” she softly whispered.

He didn’t follow. “For what?”

“For what happened to me,” she then clarified, wiping any remaining evidence of tears off her face.

Seth shook his head and dropped his glare to his shoes before he brought his eyes back up to meet Kate’s. “But it’s my fault. All of it. I was selfish and arrogant and you suffered the consequences more than anyone.”

Kate put a hand onto his bare shoulder and with the other she brushed against his unshaved jawline and he instinctively melted against her hand since it felt so natural. “I forgave you a long time ago. It’s time you forgave yourself.”

She was so near and the urge to close the gap between them was strong. He so desperately wanted to feel the sensation of her lips on his and to take comfort in her entirely. She was waiting for that, at least he thought so. Or maybe it was all a big hallucination.

He couldn’t be sure of anything anymore.

“Promise me you’ll work on it, forgiving yourself.”

He could feel her breath on his face.

“Sure,” he agreed, not certain if he could do it but at her request, he could at least try.

She nodded along, still lingering. Kate’s eyes were searching his and time seemingly came to a standstill and his world focused in on Kate like she was the only thing left (and in a way she was). Her green orbs were being overtaken by the dark circle in the middle, alluding to her attraction. Seth was sure that his own eyes had been completely dilated by that point and there was no way it was anything but that.

It was a stalemate, both locked into place, waiting for one of them to make a move. Seth dared to gaze at her lips for only a moment, which prompted Kate to push up onto her toes and press her torso lightly against him, Seth’s arm automatically wrapping around her waist to keep her steady. Her lids shut and then so did his, growing closer, lips brushing until a knock at the door made Seth jump back like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  

The maid opened the room and let them know they had to be out of there in ten minutes or they were getting charged for another night. The pair packed up their shit and hit the road, pretending like nothing had happened.

—

He knew the look, that stupid ass look of entitlement, like he could just grab any girl in there and have the right to do it. Seth saw how the man’s hand reached out to brush up against Kate’s lower back pinch her ass but Seth was too quick with his reflexes. One punch, a crack to the face, with the speed and swiftness of a snake going in for a bite, and the guy was on the ground with blood gushing out his nose at a satisfying rate.

His hand should have hurt like a motherfucker, but ended up mostly numb from the thrill of knocking him to the ground. Kate automatically dropped the words he didn’t want to hear. “What was that for?”

He grabbed her hand and went for the door of the bar, car keys in his hand ready to go, Kate trailing behind him to keep up once outside into the night. “For thinking for even a second he could touch you,” Seth sneered. “He deserved that.”

“You punched him,” she recalled, like she was trying to make sure that even though it had all happened so fast, that her eyes weren’t betraying her and indeed it had actually just happened.

Seth flung open the car door and ushered Kate in, turning back to see a few men gathering by the door looking on before hopping on into the car himself. “Believe me, he’s lucky he didn’t get a bullet to the junk.”

They sped off on the dirt road out of there and only when they were far enough away with no sign of anyone following them did Kate giggle. Seth threw a glance over at her. “What’s so funny?”

“Just you,” she contently sighed. “Getting all protective.”

“I’ve _always_ been protective of you,” he inadvertently dismissed her previous statement because it sounded like it was all of a sudden that he decided to care and protect her. That had always been the case, it was just different now, in a way he didn’t want to acknowledge quite yet.

Kate went silent, staring at him without any shame as the bumps in the road shifted her body around in her seat. “I know,” she genuinely answered. “It’s just amplified nowadays.”

“You’re all I got.”

The words never meant to spill out so easily, as if he said them all the time.

With every breath of silence from her, Seth grew more self-conscious, the words he had said replaying over in his mind. The vulnerability was showing again.

“Pull over.”

He did and sat there with the feeling like he had opened a can of worms he wasn’t supposed to. But Kate reached for his hand that was rested on the gear shift, taking it off gradually and wrapping her small, delicate hands around his. “You’re all I have, too.”

It caused Seth to swallow hard, shaking his head somewhat. “Kate,” he warned, knowing that they were diving into uncharted territory.

“Don’t,” she responded, closing her eyes. “Don’t ruin the moment.”

He stayed quiet for a few beats longer until her thumb stroking his rough hands started to evoke some things he hadn’t felt before. “Why did you get in the car with me?” he asked out of the blue. It had been a question that had been clawing at him for a while and he needed to know the answer.

Confused, Kate tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“ _You want some company?_ ” he mimicked the words said to him months prior as he had strolled out of the bar. “Why did you come with me? Why did that even cross your mind?”

“You were my best option, I guess.” He gave her a look and then she altered her statement. “Okay, maybe not the _best_. I could have gone home but…I didn’t want to go. Too many memories to consume my brain there. It would have hurt too much. And there’s nothing in Bethel anyways. My family is dead and, well, despite everything, I felt safe with you. So I got in the car and didn’t look back.”

Seth appreciated the honesty from her. Hearing all of her thoughts made his insides churn together and the feeling of guilt sunk in and loomed with the idea of making him miserable for all his past actions.

“I lost everything and all there was left was you.” Before he could think of something to say, Kate interrupted the silence again, asking for his own confession. “You wanted me to get in that car with you. Why?”

He recalled back that day and everything leading up to it but all it did was make his insides hurt even more. There were so many regrets, mistakes, and misfortunes. “When I walked out of that bar, it felt like the end of the world had hit and I was the only living person left…until I saw you.”

“And you didn’t want to be alone.”

It wasn’t a question.

“No, I didn’t want to be alone after what happened.” He looked down to his lap and sighed. “Never really have been on my own. Richie was always there by my side. I had lost him and when I was about to leave, there you were. Speckled with blood and all but I don’t know, you seemed like some sort of salvation in the moment.” With both hands actively rubbing over his face to prepare for what came next, Seth offered the topic even though it made his skin crawl. “Y’know, we never talked about what happened at the Twister.”

“For a good reason,” she mumbled. Kate took a deep breath and expelled it loudly. “Scott, he’s one of _them_ now and he bit my dad back there. I had to kill him before he turned. I had no choice,” she admitted, tone on the brink of sounding like she might give in a shed some tears.

“We both got a brother who are one of _them_.”

Fucking sad was what it was—being completely helpless to the situations that had unfolded back there in that hellhole of a place.

He flipped his hand over so Kate could run her fingers across his palm, the sensation giving him goosebumps all the way up his arm, and it being the only thing that was keeping him distracted enough to not get angry at the whole situation that happened back at the Twister.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your dad? All this time, you never mentioned it once.”

“I didn’t want to say it out loud. Makes it real and that just hurts more. Also, I didn’t think it would really matter all that much to you so I didn’t say anything about it.”

Ouch.

Was he really that much of an asshole that she thought he wouldn’t care?

“I’m sorry,” Seth blurted out, yanking his hand away because the contact was making him feel too close and like he didn’t deserve it. “For bringing you into all this shit. I-I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal back before the border and at the Twister.”

“You don’t need to apologize. It’s not like you had any idea what would happen.”

He fought the strong urge to punch the steering wheel to release the sudden anger that washed over him. “No, you don’t get it. I _do_ need to apologize. I’ve brought nothing but hurt into your life and you don’t deserve it, none of it.”

“You’ve been hurt, too.” Her hand reached over tentatively and brushed up against the exposed skin under his collar where it displayed the bite marks on his neck that Richie had painfully given him. “By betrayal.”

Kate reached out to place a hand on his face like she had in the motel room but he flinched away towards the window to his side. “Don’t.”

Her voice was stern when she pointed out, “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?” he spat out, too much power behind the words.

Kate looked defeated. “Pushing me away when you need me most. When I need you most.” She leaned in. “We need each other.”

“You’re better off without me. You should leave me.”

Surprisingly, she didn’t lose her cool. She had built up a lot of tolerance over the past several months. Kate pulled her hair out of a ponytail with one hand and let the hair fall to her shoulders, wrapping the hairband around her wrist, playing with it. “You don’t want me to go,” her silky voice challenged back.

Seth sighed, feeling like he lost a battle. “I’d be lost without you.”

For a second there he panicked, fearing he had revealed too much.

“Seth, we can’t keep pretending that something isn’t changing with us.”

She unexpectedly unbuckled and moved over on top of him, shoving him back into the seat with some force. He took a second to adjust and take it all in, the look on her face as she cracked a smile, eyes sparkling in the moonlight, hands grabbing at the edge of his suit. Seth could usually read situations like a book, knowing the beginning, middle, and end, but that right there had him all confused and off his game.

When it came to Kate, he never knew what to expect. She was a mystery.

(And maybe he was a bad guy for letting it turn him on like it was, but at least he never claimed to one of the good ones)

“We both know things are different now,” she addressed, a red painted fingernail trailing along the collar of his white dress shirt.

Seth let his head hit the back of the seat, not entirely believing it was happening. “I didn’t mean for it to go this way.”

“Neither did I, but it has. No use in pretending otherwise.”

His eyes flickered down to her mouth again, the same as it had in the motel room before the maid interrupted. Desire was fully running through his veins and touching every part of his body. The lines of right and wrong had never been blurred to him, even if he was a criminal, but the situation occurring was one that warped his mind and even though it looked wrong on the outside, it seemed to feel right.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I’m wondering how you got so dominate all of a sudden,” he whispered out, referring to her ordering the car to the side of the road and pouncing on him when she had the chance.

A pink blush on Kate’s cheeks. It wasn’t one of those blushes where she turned away all shy and wanting to hide, no, that time it was the kind of blush that only empowered her. She sunk closer to him with her eyes dead set on what she wanted, Seth not willing to push her away because he was tired of fighting it. The glance down at the shimmering cross necklace which was dangling down from her neck should have been a deterrent but Seth was never one for religion so he ignored it. Instead, he snaked a hand around her neck and pulled her in all the way until their lips touched.

It was nice how her mouth molded against his to easily. His hands found their way to her thighs that straddled him, fingers pushing up the material of the light summer dress and onto her smooth skin. And as if that wasn’t enough, one hand took a mind of its own and curved around to her back to feel her ass, pulling her closer so she was all the way on his lap and her legs were farther apart.

And yes, he knew he was going to hell for it.

All of it.

It just didn’t fucking matter at that point.

As sweetly as it had started, Kate got more ambitious and kissed him harder, which was returned. It grew so intense that steam grew on the driver side window. A hand dangerously slid up her dress on top of her bra to cup her breast, slowly grunting into her neck as he felt the movement in his pants and his hips automatically jerk upwards slightly because he wanted some form of friction.

He was screwed, absolutely fucked. She was too good for him. There was no way in hell that Seth Gecko deserved Kate Fuller, not even in another life, whatever that mumbo jumbo about parallel universes and past lives was all about. And yet there they were in the middle of Mexico on an empty road in the dark and he was blatantly feeling her up.

The ridiculousness of it all was damn near too much.

When Kate went for his belt and Seth broke the kiss to tilt his head downward and watch as her small hands undid the loop.

“Kate,” he breathed out her name once she went for his neck again and sucked gently.

“Seth,” she answered back, right into his ear.

It was so tempting to strip her down and bury into her right there in the car and let everything melt away, but Seth knew he had to do the right thing. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her away, Kate hovering inches from his face. “We can’t,” he begrudgingly groaned, even though he wanted the opposite.

Kate sat back, still on his lap, and stroked the side of his cheek like she was seeing a face for the first time. But she knew him, his thoughts, what he needed and wanted, so she got it, that he was doing this because it was the wrong place and wrong time. Without feeling like he was rejecting her, she hopped back over to the passenger side.

Smoothing out her dress, she crossed her legs. “Too fast?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess losing my virginity in a car isn’t exactly ideal anyways, now is it?”

_Virgin._

He had assumed so, and hell, he had _known_ without her telling him, but hearing the confirmation was a different story. It made him feel a bit dirty in a sense.

Seth deeply inhaled to gain some form of composure, straightening out his own clothes and readjusting the downstairs area since it had gotten seriously too tight to be comfortable. A giggle from the corner was all it took for Seth to look over and see Kate smiling as she watched him, proud that she had gotten him into such a vulnerable position and worked up so easily.

But in his defense, it had been a long time since he had gotten any action.

“What?”

“Comfy over there?”

He threw his jacket over his lap. “Let’s go.”


	2. Souls Fused

The shift between the two of them was noticeable. The atmosphere in the room felt different every single time they were together following the car incident (he didn’t know what the hell else to call it). But even a week later, they hadn’t really talked about it at all, not even a reference. It was like this dance they were doing around the truth, neither of them wanting to define the fine print of the relationship.

All was fine with him though, and he wasn’t about to be some thirteen year old fretting over if the girl liked him or not.

When they were together, it was great, easy going. Problem was when they were apart, there was an itching sensation inside of him that wouldn’t go away until she got back to him and Kate’s warm smile made all the bad feelings go away.

Yikes, that sounded corny. But her presence did that, made everything bad go away. He guessed it always had and now he just noticed it more.

But right then he was alone in the middle of a store without her so he tried to make it as quick as possible. Seth was searching for specific things they were running out of—toothpaste, band aids, sunscreen for Kate, etc. It was an accident that he went down the aisle that had condoms in it, but he still grabbed some anyways, to be on the safe side. As the cashier picked them up to scan the barcode Seth couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of guilt knowing he had a seventeen year old girl back in the motel room. And when the male clerk in his late twenties smirked and nodded at him before dropping the condoms into the bag, Seth felt like he wanted to knock his teeth out.

When he made it back to the motel and up the stairs to the second story room, he was getting the weird feeling like someone was watching him. Seth stopped and glanced around, eyeing the surroundings with heightened caution. All that he could hear was a Spanish show from the inside of a room three doors down and water dripping off a pipe.

One step closer to his door and out of nowhere a cat jumped out in front of him, spooking Seth so much that he had reached for the gun tucked in the back of his pants. He chuckled to himself before cursing the cat that wandered off and quickly opened the door to their motel room, scanning the area once more before disappearing inside.

Kate was tucked up in bed with a book in her hands. She barely looked up as he walked in with a hurry, but once she took notice of the weapon at his side, the book dropped into her lap, alarmed. “Why’s your gun out?”

“Damn cat,” he explained, tossing the bag of purchases onto the floor. “Everything’s fine. But that thing nearly lost its ninth life.”

Kate rolled her eyes and laughed. “Seth Gecko, bank robber and cat chaser. Definitely a name for the books.”

He flopped down onto the bed next to her and sighed. “Hey, now, it was a big cat, with these beady little eyes.”

“Sure,” Kate slurred, setting her book down on a side table. “I’m sure the stray was a real monster.”

He turned his head and winked at her. “Takes one to know one.”

Kate shook her head, not amused. “You’re not a monster.”

Seth got up off the bed with a groan and went over to peer out the shades covering the window, pulling back the musty red curtains. He _was_ a monster, he just didn’t feel like arguing for the cause.

“Oh, no. Has the cat returned out there for round two?” Kate joked to lighten the mood, stifling a laugh.

He threw her a look and dropped the shades back into position. “We’re all good out there.”

“Good, because I don’t need another thing to worry about.”

For some reason, that set him off a bit, the twinge of irritation swimming through him. After all, Seth had always been one to pick a fight. It was a trait of his that wasn’t noteworthy. “You could walk out that door whenever you wanted to if you didn’t want to worry anymore.”

He regretted the words even as he said them.

Kate blankly looked at him in disbelief. She brushed it off though, luckily for him. “You always say that. Or something like that. But I haven’t left yet, have I? And you know there’s a reason why you always say that I could be the one to walk out that door. It’s because you’re too loyal to leave yourself. You’re loyal to me.”

Sometimes it was scary how well she knew him. Like his inner thoughts were transcribed right there in front of Kate.

Dumbfounded, Seth didn’t know what a good reply would be so he stood there with his feet locked into the carpet.

“It’s not like before, not anymore.”

He questioned her wording. “Before?”

She motioned for him to join her on the bed again so he did, lying down next to her. “You went left, I’d go right. That’s how it was. Now we meet in the middle.” She lightly stroked his hair and reaffirmed, “We are in this together. I won’t leave you.”

He’d be a liar if he said that wasn’t comforting and terrifying at the same time.

“Do you ever miss Richie?”

He had been waiting for his question to come up, waiting for it so claw its way from the inside of her head and out her mouth so Kate could be satisfied with some form of an answer he had to come up with. Seth sighed deeply at the thought and moved so his head was flat on the pillow and he was facing the ceiling.

With one arm tucked up behind his head and a hand resting on his stomach, Seth listened to the sound of the water dripping from the bathroom sink with closed eyes for a few moments until he answered. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. Sometimes,” he said, then broke off for a moment to analyze what he was about to say. “Sometimes I think what he is know is what he was supposed to be all along.”

She cocked her head to the side, waiting for a further explanation. Seth got ready to spill the beans about his brother. “Richie killed our father when we were younger. He was just a kid. And ever since, I guess I had just ignored all the signs of his… psychopathic ways, chalked it up to various things like maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention to him or he was just alone too much. But he was a killer from the start. End of story.”

Kate’s eyes went wide. “That’s tragic. He really did that?”

“You don’t sound all that surprised.”

Kate shifted so she was under the covers and moved her mouth from side to side as she thought about his comment. “I guess I’m not.”

“I wouldn’t be either. But I don’t really want to talk about that,” Seth honestly replied, rubbing his eyes to try and fight the urge to go to sleep.

She nodded. “Then we won’t. Next subject. What was prison really like? I want all the details.”

“You’re full of curiously tonight.”

“I’m always curious,” she corrected him.

Seth leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed a half full bottle of beer than had been there since last night, the returned to his original spot on the bed, taking a sip.

“Did anyone try and make you their bitch?”

He choked on his beer. “Jesus,” he remarked, wiping his chin. “No. Nothing like that ever went down.” He took another sip, then added, “Thank God.”

She giggled and he felt as her body moved with the laughter. “One more question.”

Seth rolled his eyes. “Go on.”

“Are we ever going to stop?”

He made a gesture with his free hand. “Stop what?”

She motioned out to the road and then around the motel room. “Moving.”

“Oh.”

“ _Oh,”_ she mimicked. Kate started to stroke a few stands of his hair as she waited.

He nudged her side with an elbow. “Stop.”

Her hand came to a still and started to pull away when Seth automatically grabbed her hand lightly and put it back on his head. “No, don’t stop that. Feels nice. I meant stop the repeating what I say thing.”

A content noise came from her mouth and she resumed running her nails against his scalp, sending him into a trance. They must have looked so _together_ right then but Seth didn’t bother to think too much into it. His thoughts would have spiraled out of control.

“I’m serious though. Will we ever stop?”

“I know you are,” he exhaled, contemplating it. “ _Eventually_ , I guess.”

The thought hadn’t quite crossed his mind. They had to stop somewhere, put down some roots and resume a _normal_ life. Try to blend in as best they could. Even though he hated being on the road, motel hopping every other night or so, running, robbing, repeat, still, Seth had almost acclimated to it. The idea of staying in one place was so foreign that it made his mind spin.

Pretty sad, huh?

—

“Kate!” he yelled, nearly breaking down the door with excitement.

She came out of the bathroom in a hurry with nothing but a red bikini on and damp hair that was being dried with a white towel, a red color forming on her shoulders, indicating she had been in the pool all day while he had been gone.

He only allowed his eyes to shift downward for a brief second to catch a glimpse of the contrast of her ghostly pale skin against the vibrant red before he smiled and threw a bag at her.

She caught it mid-air. “What’s this?”

“Open it,” he instructed proudly.

Inside the contents revealed stacks of American dollars all neatly bound together to form thirteen stacks with two thousand dollars per stack. More than enough to last them a while, as long as they were wise about their spending.

Kate’s eyes widened with surprise. “Wow.”

The suit coat that had been slung over his shoulder was thrown onto the bed. “We need to celebrate.”

“How did you…” she trailed off, still in awe.

“Don’t worry about it,” he replied instantaneously, his usual answer in an attempt to protect her at least somewhat from the truth. “No one good had that cash before I got it.”

“Does stealing it somehow make us good people, then?”

He scratched the back of his head. Seth hated questions like that. They never really had a fun answer. “Kate, let’s not do this now.”

“Okay,” she mumbled, then disappeared into the bathroom once more, claiming she needed a shower to get the pungent smell chlorine out of her hair.

He was kind of disappointed in her mellow reaction to the new money, but then again, she was growing tired of the same old tricks they played to get it. Seth stuffed the disappointment down and packed up what little they had lying around, yelling to Kate they were leaving that night.

—

Another day. Another car. Another empty road.

Same old, same old.

Seth didn’t mind Mexico that much. The food was good, it was easy to find a place to crash for the night, and most of the time a robbery went without any bumps, but he sure as hell was tired of seeing nothing but tumble weeds and dust. Seth has always hated the rain but found himself wishing a dark cloud would pass over and let it all fall.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” Kate broke the silence, sipping on a bottle of water before screwing the cap back on. “You know more about me than I know about you.”

“You’re more interesting.”

“No excuses,” she simply put. “Tell me about when you were younger.”                                

He swayed his head from side to side before settling with whatever came to mind first. “I don’t know. I used to love camping with Richie when we were kids, I was never good at math in school, and when I was six I broke my right arm. Happy?”

“ _Thrilled_.”

“Good.” He looked over at her before shifting his focus back to the road. “Are you really though?”

“What?”

“Happy.”

He knew that it outed his feelings even further because of how overly concerned about her wellbeing he was, yet the squirming sensation inside his stomach that alerted him to when he had said too much never came, at least not that time.

Kate paused ran a fingernail against her forearm, a way to avoid eye contact. “I am,” she softly replied.

Seth nodded his head. “Good.”

It felt like something had gone unsaid, and it had. There was a lot more than should have been voiced, that needed to be voiced for his own sanity, but Seth lacked the confidence to do so. Messing up the balance they had going for them wasn’t the right plan of action.

“So, where are we going?” the voice from the passenger side inquired, sounding less than interested about what the response would be.

“It’s a surprise,” he brushed it off as.

Kate turned her head and huffed at him, causing a smile to emerge on his face. “A _surprise_?”

“Don’t you like surprises?”

“Seth,” she whined, kicking her boots together. “The surprises I’ve had in the past months haven’t exactly been welcomed ones.”

“That’s a good argument,” he pointed out.

“Well, then,” she prompted him, sending her hand through her glossy dark hair, only momentarily distracting him. “Where to?”

Seth caved and replied, “To the coast.”

“Really?”

Her tone had lightened, edge of excitement poking through.

“Damn straight we are,” Seth echoed back, fingers drumming on the steering wheel with newfound enthusiasm, and maybe even a hint of hope. “You can go to the beach all you want.”

Kate smiled brightly and sat more straight in her seat, rearranging her position so she was cross legged. “Are you doing this for me?”

“What? No.”

“Don’t play dumb. I can see right through you, Gecko.”

Seth bit at his inner lip from being put on the spot like that. “What, so you like the beach and that’s where we’re headed. Nothing that special. There’s no bungalow waiting for you there.”

Kate only smiled back more and the tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, turning to look back out the passenger side window. With one elbow on the ledge between the door and the window, she whispered just loud enough for him to hear, “For _me.”_

Yeah, it was for her. It was always for her.

 Seemed to be a reoccurring pattern those days.

—

He should have known better. Seth always listened to his gut and ignoring it had been a mistake. Yet another mistake that got added to the very long list. He sure knew how to screw things up.

“Fuck, I thought I was going to lose you.”

He was panicked, shaken, and not sure where to let his eyes fall as they erratically analyzed the situation he found they were both in. He thought he might be in shock, but the sight of Kate stumbling towards him, wide eyed and mouth hanging open, brought him right back into reality.

Splattered with blood, she fell against him. “I’m here,” she managed.

Kate was shaking lightly as his body shielded hers, arms wrapping around her small frame and pushing her against him so he could feel her heart beating, the way he could be sure they were both still there.

He made a mistake bringing her. She had asked and he had reservations but Kate’s determination was never something to be messed with. He promised himself right then and there he’d never endanger her like that again.

Never.

“Promise you’ll listen next time.”

“Promise,” she muffled into his jacket, nudging against him as his bloody palm held her head in a cradle, ignoring the large cut that he took as a man with a knife swung at him before Seth pulled the trigger.

Two other men were lifeless on the floor of the gas station, blood pouring out of the bodies from a busted artery. Seth flinched, a shiver running up his spine. He never _liked_ having to pull the trigger, just a sometimes necessary part of the job. But it was different that time. Seth felt connected to the scene, the crime, the dead bodies that colored the wood beneath them red.

It was because of Kate. She had become his conscience, voice echoing through his mind. The gun nearly dropped right out of his hand before he stuck it in the back part of his pants, covered by the coat so no one would notice. Seth pulled Kate away and went for the door, holding her hand tightly as they crossed the wooden and blood stained floors.

He had to get out, far away.

Get her away.

“This will never happen again,” he claimed as they piled into the stolen car and kicked up the dirt as they fled the scene.

He meant it.

—

She was sitting on the beach, wind blowing her hair as she looked at the horizon, waves crashing against the shore. She smiled, he saw, and Seth knew heading for the coast was a good idea now that they had arrived on their first night.

He would have liked to leave his spot from the parking lot and sit next to her until the sun went down.

He couldn’t do that though, as much as he wanted to.

Because A, he got the idea that Kate wanted some time to herself. And B...well, he might be inclined to say how he really felt, how things were getting more emotionally intense as the days went on.

Instead, he was content enough to watch her from the car.

—

He found out it was her eighteenth birthday a few weeks later. Seth’s automatic response was to declare it a national holiday and they needed to celebrate. She refused to acknowledge much of it, but Seth insisted. They drove into a wealthier town and stopped at a fairly new clothing store, roll of cash in his pocket ready to be spent.

They both wandered around the store for a while, not even getting one odd look like they usually did. The pair didn’t look too out of place, not with Seth wearing a clean suit and looking as if he could actually pay for what was in the store. The sales ladies only smiled and got back to folding tables, making sure everything was perfect, probably imagining that he was just some rich dude with a pretty girl on his arm.

Kate went off on her own, picking out a few things along the way. When he found her again she was eyeing a red dress hanging on rack. Kate turned when she noticed his presence behind her. “You want it?”

She smiled sheepishly, glancing back. “I was never allowed to wear anything like that. It’s too…”

“Red?”

“No, not that.”

“Short?”

“Well, yes, but it’s also—”

“Low cut? Daring? Sexy?”

She nodded as she bit her bottom lip. “Yeah. Something like that.”

Seth stood there and folded his arms across his chest and tilted his head to evaluate it. He had seen her in red plenty of times but it had always been in the form of spattered blood or a bikini.

“I didn’t get to go to homecoming,” Kate sighed, admiring the fabric of the sleeves with her fingers, thinking of her old life. “I had planned on wearing a nice red dress, that’s all.”

“You’re getting it.”

She rolled her eyes. “I said I was just—”

“It’s your birthday,” he explained. “And you get to wear a red dress if you want to. No excuses.”

Before she got another chance to refuse, Seth took her size off the hanger and handed it in her direction, waiting for her to take it. She smiled again, waited a moment, the carefully took it. Headed for the dressing room, he took the other clothes and headed for the cashier, who delicately admired Kate, saying that Seth was a “lucky man.” He understood exactly what the cashier was implying, and although Seth should have set her straight and told her he was completely unworthy of Kate, he instead replied with an, “I know.”

In a sense, he was lucky, but not in the way the cashier thought. Seth was lucky to have Kate around to keep him busy and keep him from going insane. Or at least more than he already was.

He waited for her outside, pulling the car around to the curb. Kate took a lot less longer than he anticipated. She swung the store door open, walking out wearing the dress and the black boots she had been wearing all day. Seth nearly let his jaw drop before reminding himself that she was watching. She sure looked like Kate as she crossed the sidewalk, but she looked a bit older now and a bit more, well, _dangerous_. The kind of dangerous that could look at a man for a second and he’d walk right into an unnoticed pole because the glance had derailed any sort of rational thinking or motor skills.

The thought of having to show her off to the world that night didn’t sit too well with him because he knew that men would be staring and that that set him off a bit, even though it shouldn’t. He could claim it was because he was supposed to protect her and all, but he knew deep down that wasn’t the sole reason behind it.

Opening the car door, she made a swift movement to get inside, closing the door behind her. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and turning to him, she questioned, “So, where to?”

“You look great,” Seth blurted out, that not being an answer to her question.

Kate dropped her gaze as the corners of her mouth turned up. “Thanks. You think it fits okay?”

“Fits better than okay, princess.” He revved the engine, careful not to say too much, fearful it might get him in trouble. “And tonight, we’re doing shots.”

“Just not _eighteen_ of them,” she laughed out, the idea clearly unfathomable.

“Between the two of us, eighteen shots might be doable.”

She whacked his arm. “What? I was kidding.”

“Sure you were.”

They went to the first bar he came across, it being one that was full of all different kinds of people since it wasn’t one of those run down kind of bars. Sliding doors in the back were open to let in the sea breeze. She tried to drag him out to dance but he refused so she settled for going back to the group of girls her own age that were bouncing about to the music.

From the way she kept smiling and laughing nonstop, he could tell she was having a ball, just as Seth wanted it to be.

He watched from afar to make sure she was okay until a guy, probably mid-thirties, got too close and Seth got the feeling like he wanted to punch a wall. He still caught the immediate glance Kate shot Seth’s way upon the approach, but danced with the guy anyways. Part of him (okay, all of him) regretted not just sucking it up and going out there with Kate to begin with. Now another man had come along to try and move up on her.

Seth’s hand tightened around the beer he was holding. Funny, how possessive of Kate he had become.

But when she shook the guy off after he tried to put his hands on her waist too many times, Seth felt relieved, and watching her walk back toward him put him more at ease.

“He’s too old for you,” Seth couldn’t help but mutter once she sat down on the bar stool next to him, smoothing out her hair, smile still on her face.

“Shut up! I can have an older man if I’d like to.”

Seth snorted and downed the last of what was in his glass. “Not if I’m around.”

Kate narrowed her eyes and shifted on the stool so that she faced his way, pointing a finger at him, the red nail polish he bought her a few weeks back shimmering when the light hit. “Hey, speaking of age and older men, how old are you? I don’t think you’ve ever told me.”

“Twenty nine.”

“On the brink of thirty.” She slid a shot down the bar to him. “Yikes.”

“You’re funny,” he smirked.

“Totally hilarious,” Kate shot back, proud. “I should try stand up. Would make a ton of cash.”

Seth ordered another beer and glanced around the place until Kate spoke up again. “He’s gone,” she pointed out, referring to the handsy guy she had danced with. She must have seen through him and noticed the jealousy.

“Oh, yeah, he’s probably jerking off in the bathroom or something,” he said over the elevated noise of new music playing

Kate coughed on her water, setting the glass back onto the bar. “Oh my God, Seth!” she squeaked. “Too much information. Anyways, let’s get out of here.”

Well, he wouldn’t argue with that.

—

He got some more liquor and a cake at a local grocery store right before they close (chocolate with vanilla frosting was the preference she had finally admitted to). By chance a bunch of packages of monopoly were stacked on an endcap. Since he had refused to get it before, Seth grabbed one and paid for it, only because Kate’s birthday.  

As soon as they got back to the hotel room, Kate opened up the balcony doors and let the breeze in, curtains floating in the air. The hotel was expensive, right on the beach with a killer view.

“This might just be the best birthday yet.”

Seth tore open the cap of a bottle of tequila and took a sip, barking out a dark laugh. “That’s sad.”

She pointed her plastic fork at him after lifting the last piece of cake into her mouth, smiling the whole time. “Hey, now.”

“Spending your birthday with a criminal while lost in Mexico in a hotel with cheap booze,” he poked fun at her, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t want to hear about the other birthdays you’ve had.”

She laughed and the way her face lit up was enough to pull the strings at the edges of his heart. “You want to know what my favorite gift was?”

“What? Get a new Bible?”

“No,” she slurred, not appreciating the humor. He could tell she was tempted to swat at him. “It was from Scott when I turned fifteen. He is— _was_ actually quite the artist. Amazing. Really good a calligraphy too. Anyways, he spent two months making this collage of everyone, my friends and family. It was beautiful.”

“Sounds beautiful.”

“Still hanging in my room back home, too.”

A silence crept over them as the ones who were dead to them darkened the mood, reminiscing about past people and belongings. Kate reached for the bottle of Tequila, opened the top, and swung it upside down so the contents went into her mouth. Seth watched as the sting rose in her throat and Kate turned away in disgust, only to go back for another sip.

“I miss him.”

“I miss Richie.”

She continued with, “I miss my dad.”

“I miss being a decent person. Haven’t been that in a long time.”

Kate grabbed his hand. “You are a decent person. Someone who wasn’t would have left me in the desert months ago and not have cared a single bit. But you protected me and…”

“You take care of me,” he then finished off. “You do, Kate. I’d be screwed without you here. Probably would have lost my mind by now. Or maybe my life.”

She took a sharp breath in. The two of them kept skating around what really needed to be said. But there just silence as Kate rubbed her thumb against his knuckles. 

—

At midnight she wasn’t ready to sleep yet and suggested, “Let’s play never have I ever.”

“The hell is that?”

“Technically a drinking game but it’s also a good way to find out useful information.”

“Or you could just ask.”

Kate shrugged. “You like to ignore my questions.”

“Good point.”

Kate sat in the middle of the bed with a bottle of liquor and motioned for him to join her, which he did. Seth would do anything she asked.

“Okay, never have I ever,” she said slowly, struggling to think of something.

“Tick, tock.”

“Shut up!” Kate threw a pillow at him, which of course he caught midair. “Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.”

He squinted at her. “Not fair.”

“Life’s not fair.”

With a snort, Seth brought the bottle to his lips and took a drink. “Never have I ever been a girl.”

Then it was her time to throw a glare. “That doesn’t count,” she whined, tempted to throw another pillow or maybe something a little more threatening other than the feather filled alternative.

“Oh really?”

“Yes. You’re officially disqualified.”

Disqualified. _Right._

“Fuck that. How about…” he took a moment to think, eyes scanning the room as Kate waited anxiously to see what he would come up with.

“How about a new game,” she inquired, settling down onto her back in front of him. The white sheet ruffled around once again when Seth moved onto his side, the both of the sprawled out against the cotton. “I don’t want to end up _too_ drunk. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Kate pressed her lips together. “What’s it like to kill someone?”

Ouch.

The sudden reminder he actually was a terrible person. He didn’t know how Kate didn’t see it.

Seth hung his head, which only prompted Kate to play with the hair in front of her. “Tell me. I’m not judging.”

“You should be judging. But to answer your question, in the moment, it doesn’t mean anything. Then after…when I’m alone and it’s quiet and I can finally think…then it means everything.”

She understood.

Kate nudged him to keep playing and he asked, “Truth or Dare, Kate?”

“Truth.”

“Are you really having a good birthday or are you lying?”

She smiled wide. “Not lying. It’s a good birthday. Truth or Dare?”

“Dare.”

Kate pressed her lips together and stretched out her arms before flattening against the bed again. “Hmmm,” she hummed, staring at the ceiling, then finally letting her eyes hit his. With one hand reaching up to grab onto the collar of his shirt, she whispered, “Kiss me.”

Seth leaned in, eyes on her lips as she shifted slightly. She stroked the stubble growing into a beard because he hadn’t shaved in a number of days, thumb rubbing over his jawline. “No one’s ever touched me ever,” she whispered as she stared at him. “Not like you have, before, and not like how you will tonight.”

Bold.

She was so sure of herself that Seth was starting to think that somewhere along the way he had missed the point where she switched into the seductive woman she had. 

Seth shifted to roll on top of her until their bodies were cemented together when Kate put pressure on his waist. Forearms on either side of her head so he could support himself and not lay into all the weight.

“What, Bible Kyle never make you feel good, Princess?” he whispered into her ear.

“Hey,” she laughed, clearly excited. “I’m sorry to inform you that task is going to be left entirely up to you.”

He was between a rock and a hard place—a really _hard_ place. Because he wanted to, really, really wanted to. Every fiber in his body was pushing him to do it. Still, his moral judgement kicked in at the same time and grabbed him before he took the plunge over the edge.

“It’s your birthday,” Seth remarked, stroking her cheek with the sides of his fingers. “I shouldn’t be taking anything from you.”

“You’re not _taking_ anything. I’m _giving_ you something.”

He smirked. “Glass half full, huh?”

“Someone has got to balance out your glass half empty attitude.”

He kissed her more, deeply, wanting to feel every inch of her as his hands slipped under her dress and to the skin of her thighs. She was so warm and the sensation flowed through his body, letting a shiver roll down his spine.

Kate reached her hands behind her back and he heard the zipper of the dress being undone. Seth wasted no time with peeling the dress up and over her shoulders, admiring the new territory to explore once it was off and on the edge of the bed. He had seen her in a bikini before and yet seeing her in a bra and panties seemed so different, despite the two being basically the same. His hands traveled from her shoulders over her bra and to her waist, where Seth maneuvered his body so that he sunk lower, face against her ribcage.

Small and delicate kisses were tentatively placed there as he felt the movement of her breaths in and out. It wasn’t long though before he muffled a laugh against her stomach.

“Don’t make this weird,” she whispered, the tone of both amusement and slight irritation being used.

Seth half laughed again, nuzzling against her stomach, breathing in the scent of her skin. It was mesmerizing. “It is though, for me at least.”

She ran a hand through his hair. “Why?” Kate narrowed her eyes at him. “And if you say it’s because I’m young I will kick you out of this room.”

“Not that,” Seth replied, “I’m not a good guy. I shouldn’t even be thinking about this, let alone acting on it.”

“I am not a little girl. I get to decide what I want,” Kate very firmly said. She arched her back a little and slid down so that they were face to face once more, her legs wrapping around him to hold him in place. “And I want you. Right now.”

He really didn’t expect such strong persuasion.

“Right now?” he questioned, just to make sure he was hearing things correctly.

She nodded slowly, eyes flicking back to his lip as she tilted her head back so he could easily take her lips.

And he did.

Of course he did.

He expected at some point for her to give him some kind of a warning to show she wasn’t ready and that she ultimately didn’t want him. Yet her soft touches was only giving off the sign of encouragement.

Kate’s hands gripped at Seth’s hair, the dark strands tickling her thin fingers. He kissed her neck, tongue dragging on her clean, pure skin in and unchoreographed way that made him feel like he was doing this for the first time. Maybe in a sense he was. Being with Kate was different than other times in the past. Felt different, like his heart was actually fully in it this time around.

Seth kissed down her stomach again and her nails dug at his scalp when he reach her navel, her flat stomach flexing when he did. Kate looked down to watch out of curiosity when she felt his hands sweep underneath her to elevate her lower half and pulled the regular black pair of underwear off down her legs. She unclasped her own bra and chucked it to the side.

He got to his knees and quickly disposed of his remaining garments, fingers diligently unbuttoning shirt and his pants, pulling the zipper down all while being overly aware of how ragged his breath was.

A nervous laugh followed up, showing he wasn’t so sure of himself like he usually was once the pair were both naked.

Back on top of her, Kate looked like she wanted to say something, mouth hanging ajar, looking like she was trying to form some words. Panic hit him. She might be backing out.

“Seth,” she said his name so lightly.

He propped himself up on his elbows, prepared to be told to get the fuck off her.

“I think you should know that it wasn’t my choice for you to take my family and me to Mexico, but it was my choice to stay with you in the end.”

He got the impression that his heart might crack in half and spill out of his chest from being overloaded with emotion. Caring for Kate came with that price.

But, hey, he could live with that.

“Oh.”

Stupid choice of words, but it was all he could come up with.

She grabbed him, fiercely kissing. His hands roamed everywhere and so did hers, exploring untouched areas. Any movement on her part made Seth impatient and Kate must have sensed that. “Do you have…?”

Seth was off of her and back in a few seconds, the box of condoms he had bought ages ago in his hands. “Here’s to responsibility,” he muttered, holding it up like a shot glass before tearing open the box and taking out a package.

From the edge of the bed, he stared at her. On her back with her legs spread, hair fanned out on the sheets everywhere from his hands being in it, and fuck, she was gorgeous.

“I can’t wait anymore,” Kate whined, urging him to hurry up.

Neither could he. Seth needed her, craved to have her.

He slipped the condom on and adjusted back onto her body, careful about his weight placement so he didn’t crush her. She was breathing heavy while she waited, watching as Seth reached down to place himself at her entrance, the wet, warm feeling nearly making him come at that moment.

He pushed in so slow it was killing him. Better for her, he thought. All at once would be too much of a shock to the system.

“Fuck,” he breathed out once in all the way. It had been a while and she was so tight around him. He was betraying his body by not moving, but he would do his best to wait for Kate.

Seth buried his face into her neck as he waited for her to adjust. From the noise she had made from the penetration, Kate needed a minute or two. After the time was up, she began to wiggle around, driving him up the wall.

“Okay. Move.”

He didn’t waste any more time.

Seth pulled out slowly with one hand on her hip to steady her, mouth automatically falling open when he was inside again. It felt so fucking good he was afraid he might just be pushed over the edge with a few more thrusts.

Sweat began to make the roots of his hair damp, and the strands dangled into his forehead. Kate pushed them out of the way as he pressed his mouth onto hers.

He kept a steady rhythm going to a couple minutes until he felt like the buildup was about to reach its peak. The harder Kate pressed her nails into his back, the more intense the sensation  came over him, his movements becoming unsteady and desperate for release. He was losing control in the best possible way.

Kate’s hands were placed right over his shoulder blades as he leaned into her, falling apart, moaning right next to her ear when he came to a halt.

He collapsed on top of her, Kate holding onto him there. A few beats of resting to catch his breath and then he sank down to pick up her legs and shoved his head between them, using his tongue until she was yanking at this scalp from her own climax.

“I’m in love with you,” he admitted in the middle of the night with Kate curled up next to him. Felt like a weight off his shoulders.

“Good. I love you too.” She rested her head on his chest. “You know what would be nice?”

“What?”

“A house on the beach somewhere. You and me,” she said. “Getting old and all. What do you think?”

There it was. For a brief second he allowed himself to think about it, a glimpse into a possible future with her where they settled down, watched the sunset every night, had a couple of kids run around the place and drive Kate insane. Get old and gray.

But Seth Gecko had thought for so long that happy endings didn’t exist, and that there was especially not one waiting for him.

Then again, maybe it as time that he started singing a new tune.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

—

There had been times where he had laid there and watched her sleep, wondering what kind of hell he would have to endure for asking her to love him. Of course he hadn’t literally asked her of that, but he had allowed it to happen, just as he had allowed himself to fall for her.

Three years on the run and they ended up in Brazil. Took a hell of a lot of time and energy to get there but they got there, a few bumps and bruises and a shit ton of culebra kills behind them. Kate got a job as a bartender at a local hot spot and made some serious cash every night she worked even though the two of them had more than enough money to last for three lifetimes.

They settled in outside of a major city with five acres of land with a view of the beach right outside their doorstep. It was just what Kate had wanted and Seth would go along with anything.

They were happy. The genuine kind of happy.

All the women he had been with in the past had all been so similar in nature—wild, with a liking for danger. But ultimately he realized that wasn’t what he needed. No, it was the fresh warmth and glow Kate provided that settled him down inside and balanced him out. Nothing made sense except for Kate.

Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me forever to finish this but I got there! I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did writing it.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, that’s part number one of two. The next one has all the smut, promise!


End file.
